Lies of Motherhood - 'You Are Missing Out'

I could hear the banging on the door as I showered this morning. You know the sound ~ the thumping that makes the entire door rattle in the frame so that mom can hear with all that water running? I purposely ignored it, determined to finish a shower without interruptions because, at this stage of motherhood, I believe I have arrived. I finally have all my children within school age limits. So surely even my 5 year old can stay safe for my 5 minute rinse-off! Yet the next moment, I hear rattling at the porch door, followed by the bedroom door banging again and some muffled voices. Intrigued (but annoyed), I poke my head out of the shower in time to see my two youngest succeed in picking the door lock and launch determinedly into my room, hunting for me.

No emergency, not even a fierce disagreement had led to their invasion. Instead, they wanted to tell me some things and be close.

While others may smile at the moment's tenderness or long for the days of interrupted showers, I will confess I was annoyed this morning.

I have experienced many interrupted moments in the last 22 years. The truth is the cost of motherhood is high. It's self-sacrificing, other-loving, and other-focused. Motherhood changes our level of freedom, our degrees of privacy, our time, our peace of mind. Our hearts change the moment we see the heartbeat, the second we hold our little one for the first time. Life rearranges. While we would argue that we would always make the exchange, we can often become discontent with our new situation. We long for the carefree moments before children. We wish we didn't worry so much, feel so busy, and lack personal space. The list may look different for each of us, but the underlying discontent is the primary issue.

The lie circles our hearts with discontentment and clouds our thinking with the belief that we are missing out. A pattern of thought and feeling can begin to emerge. Psychologists tell us that when brain cells interact consistently in a specific way, that connection strengthens, and the messages for that activity become more and more automatic. In other words, our brains create pathways, and when we believe the enemy's lies, grooves begin to form in which big and little moments become attached to a feeling of resentment, discontent, and loss.

Are you stuck in a rut? Are you struggling with overwhelming resentment, deep longings for something different, or even just whispers of discontent? What do we do to fight this?

We stand as warriors, my friend. This battle is more significant than we want to admit and harder to fight when we refuse to acknowledge its strength. Nevertheless, God offers us victory and freedom from the onslaught, so let's learn His truth and stand confidently.

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. ~ Colossians 3:1-4

When we look in the Word, the first truth we need to know is who we are. We are with Christ, our lives are hidden with Christ in God, and we have died. At the base of this lie of discontent crouches the lie that says I am worthless on my own, that my value rests on what I accomplish, what I have, where I go. So first, we must establish His truth. You and I are loved entirely and redeemed fully, not because we have accomplished or produced anything of value, but only because Christ has saved us to the uttermost by offering a single sacrifice for all sins and perfected us for all time. (Hebrews 7:25, Hebrews 10:11-14)

If this is true for us, then our mindset must also shift, for our identity has changed to being raised with Christ. That's what Paul is saying in Colossians. My natural viewpoint will always be to look at the now, see the immediate, long for something different. But Paul calls us to set our minds on what is above, where Christ is. He invites us to different pathways of thinking. He calls us to seek the things above or set our minds on the things above. Paul points only to Christ as who is above, seated next to God. To seek implies a determined searching for something assured to find. In other words, you and I are not seeking Jesus and hoping we are successful. Instead, we will find Him, for He has made Himself ours.

When we understand who we are because of Jesus, we know the relationship that God invites us to experience. You have died, Your life is hidden with me, and when I come back for you, it will be for my glory. That's what He declares.

Our motherhood moments are for His glory. Every nose we've wiped, every story we've listened to, every hug we've given, every squat to look in a little one's eyes, every moment is for His glory. Every part brings Him delight and points to His deep, steadfast love. You and I are participating in sacred work, despite the lack of tangible reward most days. Refusing the lies of discontent means we must be rooted in His Word, seeking Jesus alone. If you're anything like me, redirecting your mind back to this truth will be a battle most days. But God is not disappointed by our frailties, nor is He rattled by our failures. Instead, He is patient and kind, calling us every morning, back to the truth that He is our life and these moments are for His glory.

The shower moments matter.