Learning God's Pace

The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made. ~Psalm 145:8-9

From the moment my little guy opens his eyes to their closing each night, he is seeking me - for help, conversation, play, comfort. Last night at 2:45 his eyes opened, he was thirsty, and I was his go-to. 

I, on the other hand, am often NOT open to these moments with my children. All I wanted last night was to sleep. Quickly going through motions with a clipped whisper, trying to keep his sister from waking, all I desired was to get him water, let him potty and go to bed myself. 

Until his little voice chased me to the landing, “Mommy, why do my eyes feel so watery?”

And in that one moment my heart opened. I stood for a split second at the top of the stairs completely convicted and then re-entered his room. I sat down on the side of his bed and listened to his heart - he was more awake than he should be, aware that he would soon be the only one awake (never a comforting place for a child to be), he didn’t like his pjs because they covered his feet, his nose was running, he was worried he might get a bloody nose like Matthew (never mind that Matthew had been hit by a football earlier today). 

I took a little more time, slowed my pace, matched my tone to my heart, and began to encourage with words and prayer. We changed pjs, wiped noses, retucked back in bed, prayed one last time, kissed, hugged, and the difference was tangible. He was secure now, cozy and settled rather than rushed, unsettled, and worried. Sleep came easily.

Pace often indicates presence - the true openness I have for my child/husband in the moment - does it supersede the task? Are they my delight or an obstacle I need to move that I might sleep, in this case? We have a belief in our home that says, “Don’t pursue the task to the destruction of the relationship.”

I struggle with constant tension between task and relationship. With 8 kids there are alot of tasks and a lot of needs. Often this tension results in task dominance fueled by the excuse that if I can finish, I can tend the relationship. Yet often I am overextended, on task overload, aching with anxiety over all that must be done.

But God declares who He is within His name. Over and over in Scripture we will see Him refer to Himself with a specific description: gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. When we take apart these descriptions, really understand these characteristics of God towards us, then we begin to understand that our God paces beautifully with us in our struggles.

Somewhere I layered a filter over my understanding of God that colors Him with the belief that He is impatient for my change or irritated that I may need Him yet again in the night. I have believed that my little concerns and trivial thoughts that keep me awake at night are not sufficient for bringing before Him. So I will often choose not to cry out like my son did.

His grace and mercy overflow for you and me. He never greets us with fatigue or irritation that we are calling out yet again. Christ’s death on the cross for all our sin has given us the position of beloved sons and daughters, welcomed anytime day or night before Him. We can come with ill fitting clothes and runny noses. He offers steadfast love, for He is good to all.

He welcomes us into His presence, listens to the cries of our heart, the concerns we carry, and He tends to our needs. His pace is unhurried, for He never slumbers. He is steadfast love in His character. You and I can choose steadfast love in moments, laying aside our selfish natures to allow the Spirit to move within us, but God simply is abounding in steadfast love. He is fully faithful, completely present and wholly attentive.

God tends our weary hearts, so often struggling with fears, sin, and concerns, with patience, grace, and mercy. He strokes our fevered brows and reminds us of His truths. And Jesus invites you and me to abide, to rest and regroup, to sit at the edge of the bed and rub a sleepy head and simply pray.