Having Courage In The Hard Middles Of Motherhood

I sat slowly, hesitantly on the couch, unsure of what I would hear that week in counseling, but knowing her words were important. They were necessary. And she was honest.

Oh, from the moment my daughter had peeled back the covering and exposed the shreds of darkness and despair eating at her heart and her mind, she had been honest. She answered the questions. She thoughtfully responded with how she saw life, and my heart broke a little further each week. Depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts had all sunk talons into her mind, yet she bravely battled for Truth.

On life's path, the middle is often murky, and in motherhood, the middle can be downright scary.

You can look back to see where you started, vivid memories signifying the moment life took off—the fear of a new role, the excitement of discoveries, the thrill of the first. But deep in the middle, life often turns cloudy, bleak at times, and scary at others. We wonder when we will come out of the darkness, when the path will straighten or the new day will begin.

In the middle, we often worry we are losing our way. It's in the middle that we suddenly look around and hate the scenery on the path. We believe we have been deserted by the One who promised to hold our hand. We begin to tremble. We begin to consider the whispers that we cannot do it, that perhaps simply stopping would be best.

I am in the middle now, walking with a child wrestling with anxiety and self-doubt. Sometimes tipping into depression, the dark places of hopelessness and despair clouding over some months. And I have had to realize not only does she need to choose courage, but I also must choose brave.